-Not a Goddess, Just a Girl Lighting a Candle
By Liticia, founder of Blumen & Schmerttling
---
Let me tell you something embarrassing.
That was my 19 years old,the first time I made a self-love candle, I cried into the wax. Not a graceful, single-tear-rolling-down-the-cheek situation. More like a full-on, mascara-ruining, hope the neighbors can't hear me situation. I had just ended a relationship that had slowly, quietly convinced me I was too much — too loud, too emotional. And there I was, standing over a double boiler, stirring melted coconut wax with one hand and wiping my nose with the other.
That candle became Aphrodite's Foam. Not because I was channeling some ancient goddess energy at the time — trust me, I was not — but because I realized something important: self-love isn't a destination you arrive at once and stay in forever. It's a practice. A daily, sometimes hourly, return to yourself. And sometimes, that return requires lighting a pink candle and staring at a flame until you remember who you are.
If you've landed here because you googled something like "self-love intention candle with rose quartz for moon rituals" — first of all, that's a beautifully specific search and I already like you. Second of all, you're in the right place. I'm going to walk you through everything: what an intention candle actually is, why rose quartz matters, how Aphrodite got dragged into my emotional breakdown, and how to use this candle in your own moon rituals without taking yourself too seriously.
Wait, What Even Is an Intention Candle?
Okay, let's back up. An intention candle is not the same as that lovely vanilla-scented thing you impulse-bought at the supermarket because it was on sale and matched your curtains. I mean, no judgement — I've done that too. But an intention candle is different.
It's a candle that has been purposefully crafted with a specific desire in mind. Every element — the colour of the wax, the herbs mixed in, the crystal tucked inside — is chosen to support that intention. In the case of Aphrodite's Foam, that intention is self-love. The pink wax? That's for the heart. The rose petals? They've been associated with love magic since basically forever. The rose quartz chip? We'll get to that in a minute.
When you light an intention candle, you're not just making your room smell nice (though it does). You're creating a tiny ritual that says to your brain — and, if you're into this sort of thing, to the universe — this matters. I matter.
And listen, I know how woo-woo that sounds. Nine years ago, I would have rolled my eyes at myself. But here's the thing: there's actual psychological research on the power of ritual. Lighting a candle before a task can help your brain switch modes. Writing down an intention engages different neural pathways than just thinking about it. Even if you strip away all the spiritual language, you're left with something genuinely useful: a moment of deliberate focus in a world that wants your attention scattered everywhere.
Why Rose Quartz? (And No, It Won't Fix Your Life)
Rose quartz is the stone of unconditional love. I know, I know — that sounds like something printed on a gift shop tag. But bear with me.
In crystal work — which, full disclosure, I've been into for years, even when it made me sound slightly unhinged at dinner parties — rose quartz is associated with the heart chakra. It's believed to open the heart to all forms of love: romantic love, sure, but also friendship, compassion, and the one we're all worst at — self-love.
Here's what I love about rose quartz: it's not a stone that demands transformation. It doesn't shout "BECOME A BETTER PERSON" at you. It just… holds space. It's gentle. It's the friend who sits with you on the couch while you ugly-cry, says nothing, and hands you a cup of tea at exactly the right moment.
In Aphrodite's Foam, a small chip of rose quartz is tucked into the wax. As the candle burns, the crystal warms up and, according to crystal lore, continues radiating that gentle self-love energy even after the flame is out. I've had customers tell me they keep the little chip on their nightstand or in their pocket. One woman told me she brings hers to job interviews. I can't promise the crystal will get you the job, but I can promise it'll remind you that you're worthy of it.
(pic:It such beautiful when it burning in the night!)
So, Aphrodite — What's Her Deal?
Let's talk about the goddess in the room.
Aphrodite gets a bad rap. Most people think of her as the goddess of romantic love, all fluttering eyelashes and rose petals and "please choose me." But her origin story is actually way more intense. According to Hesiod — ancient Greek poet, total gossip — Aphrodite was born from sea foam when, uh, some severed body parts were thrown into the ocean. She rose fully formed from the wild, generative chaos of the sea.
That's not a goddess who waits to be chosen. That's a goddess who arrives. She doesn't ask permission. She doesn't check if she's wanted. She just rises.
And here's the thing about self-love: it's the same energy. It's not about waiting for someone else to validate you. It's about rising anyway — even when you don't feel ready, even when you're convinced you're not enough, even when your hair is a mess and you haven't replied to that text from three days ago.
When you light a self-love candle, you're not praying to Aphrodite to send you a partner. You're channelling that “I rise anyway” energy for yourself. At least, that's how I see it. If you want to picture her as a graceful beauty surrounded by doves, go for it. I personally imagine her with bedhead and a coffee stain on her robe, telling me to get my act together.
(pic:I always imaging how Aphrodite looks like)
Moon Rituals: Less Mystical Than You Think
Alright, let's talk about moon rituals. I know the phrase "moon ritual" can sound intimidating — like you need a crystal grid, a ceremonial robe, and a coven of experienced witches who all know the words to the same chant. I promise you don't.
A moon ritual is simply an intentional act done in alignment with the moon's phases. Think of it like this: the moon affects the tides. The human body is about 60% water. If the moon can pull an entire ocean, it can probably nudge your mood a little. That's the logic. Don't overthink it.
The full moon is traditionally for releasing — letting go of habits, thoughts, relationships that no longer serve you. The new moon is for setting intentions — planting seeds for what you want to grow. For self-love work, both phases can be powerful. During the full moon, you might release your inner critic. During the new moon, you might set an intention to speak to yourself more kindly.
Here's the simplest self-love moon ritual I know. I do this myself, usually in my pyjamas, often while my cat judges me from the corner of the room.
A Ridiculously Simple Self-Love Ritual
1. Find a quiet corner. This doesn't need to be a dedicated altar space. My "sacred space" before is usually the corner of my bedroom floor with a cushion I stole from the sofa. Your bathroom counts. Your kitchen table after everyone else has gone to bed counts. Anywhere you can sit undisturbed for ten minutes counts.
2. Hold the unlit candle. Cup it in both hands like you're holding something fragile — because, in a way, you are. Close your eyes. Take three slow breaths. On the inhale, think: I am here.On the exhale, think: I am enough. If that feels too cheesy, just breathe. The breathing is the important part.
3. Write something down. Grab a scrap of paper — the back of a receipt works, I've done it — and write one thing you want to feel about yourself. Not "I want a boyfriend." Not "I want to lose weight." Something like "I want to trust my own decisions" or "I want to stop apologising for existing." Last week, I wrote "I want to stop feeling guilty about saying no to plans." It's a work in progress.
4. Light the candle. As the flame catches, imagine that intention being sealed into the wax. I like to say it out loud, even if it's a whisper. Hearing your own voice say something kind about yourself is surprisingly powerful.
5. Sit there. That's it. Just sit. Watch the flame. You don't need to meditate or chant or visualise a golden light filling your heart — though if you want to, go for it. I usually just stare at the flame and let my brain wander. Sometimes I think about nothing. Sometimes I think about what I'm going to have for dinner. The point is the pause, not the perfection.
6. Snuff the candle.Attention:Don't blow it out — snuffing feels more intentional, and honestly, it's just satisfying. Thank yourself for showing up. That's the ritual.
Why Handmade Matters (To Me, At Least)
I could buy candles from a factory. It would be cheaper, faster, and significantly less messy. My kitchen counter would not be perpetually dusted with dried rose petals. But here's why I don't.
When I pour a candle by hand, I'm present with it. I know exactly what's going into the wax — where the roses were grown, how the quartz was cleansed, what the moon phase was when I started the batch. (Aphrodite's Foam is always poured on Fridays, by the way — Venus day. I'm not making this up. Well, I am, but it's historically accurate.)
That presence matters to me. I think it matters to the candle, too, in whatever way an inanimate object can be said to care. When you light a handmade candle, you're lighting something that was made with attention, with intention, with someone's actual hands. In a world of mass-produced everything, that feels increasingly rare and precious.
Also, I just really love making them. There's something meditative about melting wax and stirring in herbs and watching the colour bloom. It's like cooking, but for your soul instead of your stomach.
A Few Practical Tips (Because I Want You to Actually Enjoy This)
- “Trim the wick.” I know, I know — nobody trims wicks. But if you do, your candle burns cleaner and longer. About 1/4 inches or 6mm before each burn. I use a tiny pair of scissors I bought specifically for this purpose because I am that person now.
- “Let the wax pool reach the edges on the first burn.” This is especially important with coconut-palm wax blends. If you don't, the candle will tunnel and you'll end up with wax stuck to the sides forever. Patience, grasshopper.
- “Retrieve your rose quartz.” Once the wax is low, use a spoon or tweezers to gently lift out the crystal chip. Rinse it off, pat it dry, and keep it somewhere you'll see it. I have a little dish on my desk full of crystals I've rescued from candles. It's like a graveyard of good intentions, in the best way.
-“Reuse the jar.” The matte pink glass is too pretty to throw away. I use mine for makeup brushes, dried flowers, and — on one memorable occasion — as a tiny vase for a single sunflower. It looked adorable.
One Last Thing Before You Go
I want to say something I wish someone had told me years ago, when I was first dipping my toes into ritual and intention-setting and all of this.
You don't have to be good at this.
You don't have to know the right words or the right moon phase or the right way to hold the candle. You don't have to believe in goddesses or crystals or any of it. You just have to show up — for yourself, in whatever way you can manage today. Some days that's a full ritual with writing and meditation and tears. Some days it's lighting a candle for five minutes before you collapse into bed. Both count. Both are enough.
If you're new to this, start small. Light the candle. Say one kind thing to yourself — even if the only thing you can manage is "I showed up today." Let that be enough.
Liticia is the founder of Blumen & Schmerttling, a small-batch studio making handmade ritual candles infused with intention, herbs, and crystals. She writes about candle magic, moon rituals, and the ongoing project of learning to like herself. Find her candles and more ramblings at aveumflos.com